Since the day you are born your told what to do or gestured towards the right direction if your lucky. What to eat, when to go to bed, when to get up It’s scheduled for you almost (or attempted to be).
As we grow we learn things the hard way, our own way. We go through life lessons our loved ones would take away from us in a second but It’s part of growing up. You grow as a person it develops you on so many levels in your being. Some get away lucky with a few scratches, some aren’t so lucky. They emerge with war wounds so deep you wonder how they got up and fought again and made it back. It doesn’t matter if you listened to the direction given or not, Life happens Shit happens. It’s hard and I don’t think it gets easier. We just learn how to cope and handle situations better.
I thought I was past some of the scariest things in my life, but something I never thought would scare me is terrifying me, My questions about my future, this crossroads. I always had dreams and ambitions, I’ve worked hard as long as I can remember, I’ve been independent and would strive for more but it feels like I’m getting nowhere. Courses, new jobs, higher titles but never the pay. Now money doesn’t buy happiness but it sure helps! Love Isn’t gonna keep the roof over my head.
I’ve hit that point where you question everything and I guess the “finding yourself” begins. What if you don’t have the luxury of taking that “Gap Year”, to leave our jobs? All these questions I thought would never bother me, Where are you going to buy a house? How are you going to? When are you having kids? Will you marry? Will you follow your dreams? Will you end up settling? Will you die before you’ve made your mark?